This Trial Of Mine
by Miss Shad
Summary: The gang goes to Osaka,Yumi's hometown,for a vacation. Things are just fine for Ami and Kaz,but Yumi learns the hard way that there's no running from her past. Plz R&R no flames
1. Home

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi characters;they belong to good 'ol Cartoon Network. Any characters you've never heard of,however,are MINE! (evil laugh) Also,as usual,this is based off of the animated Puffy Ami Yumi,not the actual people.

Also,the orginal lyrics to ''Jack's Lament'' (from the movie _The Nightmare Before Chirstmas_) belong to Touchstone Pictures.

Author's Note: This is a story I've wanted to do for a while but never got around to it. A lot of the inspriration for this came from Luminous-Kyo's story ''Haunting Of A Purple Sakura Tree.'' So...ummm...kudos to Kyo I guess.

* * *

I heard the rather annoying pitter-patter of the rain falling on the bus but it didn't bother me at all as I laid back on my bed with my hands behind my head,thinking about where we were all going. We were heading for Osaka,my hometown. I'm sure you're thinking that I'd be glad to be going there. Well,you're wrong. You couldn't be more wrong. 

''Yumi!'' Ami called from the livingroom.

''What?''

''We're here!''

''Uhh...okay! I'm coming!'' I shouted back to her. I got up from the bed and went into the livingroom,scowling.

* * *

Kaz was driving the bus down the streets. Ami and I looked out the window as he drove but we couldn't see very well because of the rain falling down on the windows. 

Kaz was about to drive down a road lined with trees and not much else. When I noticed this road,a shock went through me and I ran over to him.

''Kaz,turn around. Now.''

''Why?''

''Just...just turn around! Geez!'' He turned the bus around.

As we drove around looking for a place to park the bus for the night,I spotted a large,run-down hospital building. The minute I looked at that building a scene registered in my mind. A scene from years ago...

* * *

_I opened my blurry eyes and glanced around the room. I looked up a bright light on the celing that blinded me somewhat for a second or two. I wailed loudly at this and the next thing I knew I heard glass breaking,then someone pulled me close. _

_''No,no,stop it,calm down. Shhh...''_

_I looked up and saw someone with long purple hair,brown eyes,and glasses. This was my mother,Keikai._

_A man with blue hair,blue eyes,a red shirt with a blue tie,and blue pants approached us. The man was my father,Boshi._

_''Here,Keikai.'' Father said, ''Let me have a look at my little boy.''_

_''Umm...actually,Boshi...it's a little **girl**.''_

_''WHAT?'' He shouted. I started to wail a little bit but Mother calmed me down again. _

_''Don't shout like that,Boshi! See what you've done!''_

_''You know as well as I do that only a boy can carry on the family name!'' He turned away,pouting._

_''But...will you at least look at her?''_

_Father said nothing._

_''Boshi!''_

_That got his attention. He looked at me. I could tell he wasn't happy. _

_He looked away and sighed. ''What are you going to name her?'' He asked in a bitter tone._

_Mother looked at me and thought this over. ''Yumi.'' She said._

_Father looked at me and nodded in agreement,then walked off. Yumi,Yumi,Yumi,I thought. What is a Yumi? Then it became clear. It was me.

* * *

_

I sighed as I thought about that day. Father had despised me ever since,although I didn't realize it until years later. 

Neither Ami nor Kaz nor any of my fans (except Harmony) knew about that. They didn't really need to know.

Kaz parked the bus. Ami went back into the livingroom and watched TV. I went into my room to find my little black cat,Jang Keng,sitting on top of my bed.

I ignored her as I looked out the window at the starry sky. I then looked at all of the stuff on the walls of my room with pride.

_''There are few who deny that what I do,I am the best,for my talents are renowned far and wide!'' _I sang. _''When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night,I excel without ever even trying. With the slightest little effort of of my rock star charm,I have seen sane folks give out a shriek! With a look in my eye and the sound of a guitar,I have swept the very tamest off their feet!''_

I sighed. _''Yet,night after night,it's the same routine,and I grow so weary of the sounds of screams. And I,Yumi,the rock goddess,have grown so tired of being the best.'' _Jang Keng hopped up on top of the dresser.

_''Oh,somewhere deep inside of these bones,an emptiness began to grow. Troubles abound here all through my home,the trials that I've always known.''_

I looked Jang Keng in the eye. _''I'm a master of might,and a star overnight!'' _I raised my fist,_''And I'll strike before you get the chance! To a guy in Kentucky,I'm Mrs. Unlucky,and I'm known throughout England and France! And since I'm the best,I can lick all the rest,when not quite up to expectations! No animal nor man can **sing** like I can...'' _the windows broke,_''with the fury of my recitations!''_

_''But who here would ever understand that the goddess of rock with her sly old grin,has troubles so profound...if they only understood,I'd let it all go if I only could.''_

_''Oh there's an empty place in my bones that can't hold back the pains I've known. The fame and praise come year after year,does nothing for these empty tears.''_

I laid back on the bed the same way I did eairlier that night.


	2. Buyo

''Yumi?'' Ami asked as she walked into my room. ''You've been in here for a while...is everything okay?''

''Hm? Oh,yeah,sure. '' I told her. ''I was just...hanging out.''

''Kaz said that we could go out shopping or something around here if we wanted to.''

I thought about it. I needed _something_ to take my mind off of my troubles.

''Yeah,we might as well.'' I got up off of the bed and we left.

* * *

''So...are you glad to be back?'' Ami asked me at the resturaunt. 

I told you all before I wasn't happy about being back at all. But I didn't want Ami to know that so I said ''Yes.'' But I guess she didn't believe me. ''You sure don't look happy.''

''What difference does that make?'' I said angrily. Ami hunched up her shoulders slightly.

''Geez,you haven't changed a bit.'' Someone said. I turned around. A boy with blue hair,a red shirt,an orange jacket,blue jeans,and band-aids on his cheeks was standing next to me.

''What,you don't recognize me?'' He said.

I looked at him closely. ''Buyo?'' I asked.

''Yep!''

''BUYO!'' I shouted happily,hugging him.

''You two know each other?'' Ami asked.

''Buyo is my little brother.'' I told her.

''Oh,well...nice to meet you.'' She shook Buyo's hand.

''You must be Ami.'' Buyo said.

''Uh-huh.''

Buyo looked over at me. ''Uh,sis?''

''What?''

''Do you have any free time?''

''I sure do. We're on vacation here. Why do you ask?''

''I just thought maybe after you and Ami were done in here,you might want to hang out with me. I haven't seen you in like,forever,you know.''

''Hmm...what do you think,Ami?''

''Uhh...sure.'' Ami said. ''Buyo's probably missed you a lot.''

''Okay then.'' I told Buyo. ''I'll see you after we're done.''

About an hour later,Ami and I left the resturaunt. I thought Buyo was outside waiting for me but I didn't see him.

''Ami,'' I said. ''You go back to the bus. I need to go find Buyo.'' Ami nodded and left.

I walked down the streets looking for him. All the streetlamps and windows were lit,adding a kind of glow to the otherwise unintresting street. I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going because the next thing I knew I was in a deserted alleyway.

''Buyo?'' I called out. ''Are you anywhere around here? Buyo? B-u-u-u-u-y-o-o-o-o!''

* * *

_I held Mother's hand nervously as we walked down the streets of Tokyo. I had been playing with a peppy little pink-haired girl about an hour eairler._

_A butterfly flew past me. Something in me made me let go of Mother's hand and chase after it. My mind was so fixed on running after the little bug I didn't notice where I was going._

_I finally grabbed the butterfly in my hands but then it flew out. I looked behind me,thinking Mother was still with me. She wasn't there._

_''Mother?'' I called out. ''Mother?'' I listened for her voice calling me,but all I could hear were cars going and people talking._

_''Mother!'' I listened for her once again. ''**Mother**!'' I started to cry._

_''Little girl...'' Someone said. I looked and saw a man with greyish-white hair that was so long it covered up half of his face. He was wearing all grey and seemed a bit creepy. ''Are you lost?'' He asked me._

_''Y-y-yes.'' I said._

_He grinned slyly. ''Well then,would you like for me to help you?''_

_''I guess so...''_

_''Well,then,come with me.''_

_All of a sudden I remembered Mother's warning about going places with strangers. ''No.'' I told him._

_''Listen,do you want to go home or not?'' He shouted angrily. That made me forget all about the warning._

_''Okay...I'll g-go with you.''_

_''Very well,then. What is your name?''_

_''Y-Yumi,sir.''_

_''Well then,Yumi,let's go.''_

_He led me down the alleyway. We soon reached a dead end._

_''L-L-Let's turn around.'' I started to leave._

_''No.'' He said,grabbing me by my shirt collar. ''We're not going anywhere.'' He pulled a knife out of his pocket. I gasped._

_''Oh,this?'' He said. ''Oh,this won't hurt...**much**!'' He raised the knife and just as he was about to stab me,I ran. _

_I looked behind me and saw that he was running after me. I spotted a trash can and hid behind it. He stopped and looked around for me. He knocked over the trash can. I ran as fast as I could,but I tripped over something and fell down. As I tried to get up,he grabbed me._

_This is it,I thought,I'm going to die. But before he could stab me,a shot rang out and he fell over and let go of me. I looked around and saw a group of policemen shooting him. Terrified,I ran away._

_I bumped into Mother. She turned and looked at me. She apparently hadn't noticed that I was gone. I got up and hugged her as hard as I could._

_''What happened,Yumi-chan?''_

_''I... I...was...lost and...'' I was so terrified I could barely speak. Mother took me by the hand and we left.

* * *

_

''Yumi?'' I looked and saw Buyo standing behind me. ''Where have you been?'' He asked. 

''I've been looking for you.'' I said.

''Well,I got tried of standing in front of the resturaunt and left. I came back but you weren't there anymore. Then I was walking down this way trying to find your bus and then I found you here.''

''Oh. I'll show you where the bus is.'' It wasn't very far from the alleyway.

''So,Buyo,where do you want to go hang out?'' I asked.

He shrugged. ''Nothing really,we've just got a lot of catching up to do.''

''Okay then. Oh,here's the bus.''

Buyo looked at it. ''Nice. I'll remember where this is.'' He started to walk away.

''Hey! Where are you going?''

He turned and looked at me. ''You coming?''

* * *

''So...that's how you and Ami met,huh?'' Buyo asked as we sat at the table of a run-down cafe. ''You,know,sis,sometimes I wish I could come on tour with you two.'' 

''Well,that's something to consider. I wouldn't mind;I'd just have to ask Ami and Kaz.''

Buyo took a sip of his soda,then laid back in his chair glancing around the cafe. ''Sis?'' He asked.

''Yeah?''

''Have you been getting homesick the whole time you've been out with Ami?''

I sighed. ''Sometimes,but that doesn't neccesairly mean I'm glad to be here.''

Buyo arched an eybrow. ''What do you mean?''

''Well...I...umm...''

''What?''

''You...you wouldn't understand.'' I looked at my watch. ''It's getting late. I need to get back to the bus.'' I got up from the table. ''It was nice to see you again,Buyo.''

''Same here.'' Buyo said.

I left.


	3. Family

I walked back into the bus. I went into the livingroom,thinking Ami was waiting for me there. She wasn't. I looked in her room. She wasn't there either.

But then I went into my room and found her sitting on my bed cuddling my son,Koja,who seemed to be crying. Sakura,Ami's daughter,was sitting on the bed with her.

''Ami,'' I asked, ''what's the matter with Koja?''

Ami looked up at me. ''Huh? Oh,he's just been missing you.''

I had almost forgotten about poor little Koja the whole time I was with Buyo! ''Here,Ami,give him to me.'' She handed Koja to me. Koja smiled and snuggled up against me. ''I'm sorry I was away for so long.'' I told him. Ami picked Sakura up and went into her room. I sat down on the bed and cuddled Koja.

Sure,maybe I had upset Koja by being out with Buyo for such a long time,but I could have done worse...

* * *

_The sounds of birds woke me up. I yawned and streched and looked around the yard. It was full of weeds. Then I remembered: Father had told me to pull the weeds out,but I fell asleep under the big tree in our yard before I could. If he had nearly broken my ribs for not cleaning my room,there was no telling what he'd do to me now. I started to pull the weeds when all of a sudden..._

_''**YUMI YOSHIMURA**!'' _

_I looked behind me._

_''Father!'' I didn't even realize that I had shouted. He slapped me. ''I told you to clean up the yard!''_

_''I know,'' I said tearfully, ''I just---''_

_''Silence!'' He shouted._

_''But I---''_

_He grabbed me by my shirt collar. '' I said **SILENCE**!'' He shouted,slamming me up against the tree,then he threw me to the ground. As I got up,he punched me in the stomach. ''Now get to work!''_

_''Y-y-yes,sir.''_

_''And Buddah forbid I should come out here and you're not done!'' He slapped me again. ''Understand?''_

_''Yes,sir.''_

_He left. I started to pull the weeds._

_I was only five;how could he possibly find it in his heart to treat me like this?_

_About an hour later I pulled out the last weed and sighed in relief. I looked and saw Father coming outside._

_''I'm finis--'' I began._

_''Hold your tounge!'' He shouted,then looked around the yard and saw that I was telling the truth._

_''Well done.'' He said,then went back inside. I followed him. I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. At last I was safe...for now.

* * *

_

''Umm...Yumi?'' I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Ami. 

''What is it?'' I asked.

''It's getting pretty late...you ought to put Koja in bed.''

I looked the clock on the wall. ''Oh,yeah,you're right.'' I carried Koja to his room and put him in his bed. I stood and watched him,still stinging from the memory of what Father had done.

I was so glad that Koja didn't have to deal with that sort of thing. Heck,poor Koja doesn't even HAVE a father...my husband,Yukio,divorced me while I was pregnant with Koja. I haven't told Koja about this yet;he's too young to understand. Maybe when he's older,perhaps.

''Yumi?'' Ami asked. ''What's been taking you so long?''

''Hm?'' I said. ''Oh...I was just...thinking.''

''Well,it's 2:00 in the morning...aren't you getting tired?''

As I was thinking this over I yawned. ''Yeah...I guess I am.''

''Me too.''

And with that Ami and I both went to bed.

* * *

A/N: Well,what do you think? I know things don't seem very exciting now,but just you wait...anyways,reviews,ideas,and constructive criticism are welcomed;flame me and you're as dead as a doorknob. 


	4. Little Brother

_Rrrrrriiiiinnngg..._

I snapped wide awake. Was that the alarm clock? I looked over at it. It wasn't ringing. _I must have just imagined it,_I thought. Ami came in.

''Yumi! The phone's ringing!'' She shouted.

''Huh? Oh...okay,I'm coming!'' I said. I put on my trademark skull shirt and studded armbands,then I went into the kitchen with Ami.

I picked up the phone. ''Hello? Who is this?'' I asked.

''Sis,it's me.''

''Buyo? What do you want?''

''Well...I just wanted to tell you I'm on my way over to your bus right now.''

''You mean you're coming over?''

''Uh-huh.''

I sighed. ''Buyo...we just hung out last night.''

''I know,but...''

''You know what,Buyo? I don't care. You can come.''

''All right then. See ya.'' He hung up.

''So,what's the deal?'' Ami asked.

''Buyo's coming over.''

''Oh. Well,it's nice to see him again,huh?''

''Yeah...I suppose...''

* * *

_It was a pretty typical day on the playground at the Kindergarten. I looked up at the top of the slide. An absolutely ADORABLE little boy named Jimu was standing at the top. Jimu was a good friend of mine back then._

_Jimu looked down at me nervously. ''I-I-I don't know,Yumi...this is pretty high up...''_

_''Come on!'' I shouted, ''I've gone down it a million times and I'm just fine!''_

_Jimu still refused to do anything._

_''You're not afraid,are ya?''_

_''Uhh...''_

_''You're too afraid! You cannot jump! Nya nya nya nya nya!'' I shouted in a singsong voice. That got his attention. He slid down._

_Another old friend from back then,Seicha,came over._

_''So,Yumi-chan...I see you're hanging out with your boyfriend.''_

_I sighed. ''For the last time,Seicha,he's not my boyfriend! He's just a friend that happens to be a boy just like I happen to be a girl and...I am a girl,right?''_

_''Uh-huh.''_

_I was just about to climb up the stairs of the slide when I noticed three boys coming. They were The Demon Boys,the worst bullies at the school. _

_I **hated** these guys. They made fun of my voice and my purple hair all the time. I hid behind Seicha. She looked and saw them coming._

_''You guys!'' She shouted. ''I told you to leave her alone!''_

_The leader,Seigei,grinned slyly at Seicha. ''Oh,yeah...we'll leave her alone...''_

_''Just as soon as the 'fun' is over!'' Seigei's partner,Kogo said._

_''Yeah!'' Said Shunani,the youngest of the boys. They started to come towards me and Seicha. But before they could do anything..._

_''Seigei!'' Someone called out._

_''Coming,Mom!'' He turned to the other boys. ''Gotta go.'' And with that he left. Now Kogo and Shunani were powerless._

_''You mama's boy!'' I called after Seigei. ''Why don't 'cha go run home to your mama,you big ol' mama's boy?''_

_''Yumi-chan!'' Mr. Takamoto,the Kindergarten teacher,called out._

_''What?''_

_''Your father is here.''_

_''Uhh...okay!'' I turned to Jimu and Seicha. ''Bye,guys.''

* * *

_

_Mr. Takamoto lead me to the parking lot. Father was standing by the car waiting for me._

_''Get in. Now.'' He said._

_''Wh-why?''_

_He opened the car door. ''I said **get in**!'' He pushed me into the car,then he shut the door,got into the drivers' seat,then drove off.

* * *

_

_We had arrived at the hospital. Father took me by the hand and we ran in. We were both going so fast it was hard to really understand what was going on. _

_When we had finally made it upstairs,Father let go of my hand and walked into a room. I followed him._

_''Go away!'' He shouted! ''Leave me alone!''_

_I waited outside the room for a while,but it became too much for me to stay out there all alone,so I went in._

_I saw Mother in a bed holding something. Curious,I went over to her._

_Father noticed me and slapped me. ''I told you to stay outside!''_

_''Boshi!'' Mother shouted. ''Go on,come over here,Yumi.''_

_I leaned over and saw what she was holding: the new baby she had been telling me about for months now._

_''Is it a brother or a sister?'' I asked her._

_''Brother. His name is Buyo.''_

_''Buyo?'' I looked at him more closely and smiled at him. He smiled back slighty. I looked over at Father. He was still angry at me,but it didn't really matter. Little Buyo was all that mattered to me now.

* * *

_

There was a knock at the door. I answered it. It was Buyo. 

''Oh...'' I said, ''Perfect timing.''

''What are you talking about?'' Buyo asked.

''Never mind.'' I told him. ''Come in.''

About an hour or so after Buyo had come over,Ami and I went and practiced our new song. When we were done,I went into the livingroom. Buyo was playing with Koja.

''Oh...there you are.'' Buyo said. Koja got down off of the couch. Buyo and I watched him leave.

''He's adorable.'' Buyo said.

I smiled. ''I know.''

''So,sis...remember what I said last night?''

''About what?''

''About coming on tour with you and Ami.''

''Oh yeah...I'll have to wait until Kaz gets back so I can ask him. But if he says no,you can still stay with us until we leave Osaka.''

Buyo grinned. ''Heck,I'm fine either way as long as I'm with you.''

I thought this over. ''You know what,Buyo?''

''Hm?''

''Me too.''

Buyo hugged me. ''I love you,sis.''

''Me too...''

* * *

A/N: WHEW! I'm FINALLY done with this chappie. Dang...that was the longest flashback I've ever written. Well anyways,reviews,ideas,and constructive criticism are welcomed;flame me and you're DEAD. 


	5. Be Alone

Later on that day,I heard Buyo calling me from the livingroom. I went in. Kaz's dog,Domo,was on the couch were Buyo was. Apparently Buyo wanted me to get him out of the livingroom. So,I went into the kitchen and sat a big bowl of cat food on the kitchen floor. Not long afterwards,Domo came running in like a furry bullet and gobbled up the cat food. I went back into the livingroom.

''Thanks,'' Buyo said, ''he was bugging me.''

I sat down on the couch with him and watched TV. Well,I didn't really watch it...I was deep in thought. When Buyo came to the bus,I wanted to ask him if Mother was still alive. I would have,but the truth was I didn't really want him to tell me;I wanted to find out for myself. But I wasn't quite up to that either. The fear of Buyo telling me she was dead or finding out for myself she was dead came over me.

Strange,because long ago I learned how to handle being without her.

_

* * *

It was winter and freezing cold. Mother and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood the way we did. I had to walk either in front of or behind her because she no longer allowed me to hold her hand. ''You're not a little baby anymore,'' She would say whenever I tried to, ''you can walk on your own.''_

_On this paticular day,the snow made it hard to see where I was going. I walked for a long time,assuming Mother was right behind me. I got tired and stopped. I looked behind me and Mother was gone._

_I looked all around,my heart pounding. I was alone._

_''Mother!'' I called out. There was no answer whatsoever. ''Mother,where are you?''_

_I walked down the streets,still calling for her. I looked and saw Seicha on the other side of the street,but I was too miserable to care. _

_''Mother!'' I called once again. ''Moth--'' I stopped and gasped. Seicha was standing in front of me._

_''What's the matter?'' She asked._

_''My mother is gone.'' I told her._

_''Can't you stay by yourself?'' She said angrily,then walked away._

_I stood and watched her leave. Just when I was about to leave myself..._

_''Yumi!'' A voice called out. ''Yumi-chan!'' I turned in the direction of it and saw Mother looking around for me. I ran up to her and we went home. I decided I would try to be on my own so Seicha wouldn't be soupset with me.

* * *

_

_The next day I was in the backyard sitting in a big tree. I looked down. To my surprise,there was a deer in the backyard. I got down from the tree at once and watched it. I had never seen an animal so close before._

_I decided to get up close to it and pet it. Just as soon as I was almost close enough,the deer noticed me and fled. I ran after it. It ran through the woods in the backyard,where I guess it must have came from. I followed it,but then I fell down a small hill and landed near the tree-lined road that seperated my neighborhood from the main part of town. I looked up and saw Seicha standing over me._

_''What are you doing out here?'' She asked._

_I got up. ''There was a deer in my backyard. I tried to pet it but it ran away. I ran after it and ended up here.''_

_''Where's your mother?'' Seicha asked._

_''Back home.''_

_''So...you're by yourself?''_

_''Uh-huh.''_

_She thought this over. ''And you're...okay with it?''_

_This was my chance! ''I can stay by myself.'' I told her._

_''Umm...weren't you crying for your mother the other day?''_

_''Y-y-yes...'' I was a bit embarressed._

_Seicha thought this over._

_''Y-you were mad at me then because I was afraid,'' I told her, ''but since then I haven't been.''_

_She smiled at me slightly. ''Well,'' She said, ''your mother's probably worried,so you should go home now.''_

_''Okay then,'' I said, ''See ya.''_

_I walked back home with pride.

* * *

_

''Buyo?'' I asked. He was engrossed in the TV. ''Buyo?'' I nudged him. ''What?'' He asked me. 

Keeping the memory of Seicha telling me about being on my own in mind,I asked, ''Is Mother still alive?''

''Yes,'' Buyo said, ''but I haven't seen her in a long time.''

''Okay,thanks.'' I said. I sighed in relief. I had been so worried over nothing.

I wanted to go back home and see her,but I just couldn't. Heading down that tree-lined road is not as simple as you may think. Simply being back in Osaka is torture enough for me;going home would make it much,much worse.

Perhaps I could do it if I could somehow clear my mind of all the things that happened to me out here,but that is impossible. Things like Father's hatred for me,among many others,are always on my mind.

But I never tell anyone. Things like this I keep to myself.

Some lovely night,Ami and I come to your town. You jump up and down and cheer because you love me and Ami,you love the songs,you love it all.

My side of it all is not told.

* * *

A/N: Ah,yes,things will be getting a bit more...''fun'' as I like to call it,so stay tuned. Reviews,ideas,and constructive critcism are welcomed;flame me and you'll have to babysit Koja and Sakura...and if Kaz doesn't like to do it you sure won't either. (snicker) 

----------------------------ShadowTheHedgehog92 aka Shaddie--------------------------------


	6. Mother

Later on,Ami and I were practicing a new song. Things seemed to be going fine,but I was a bit distracted. Why? Kaz was in the livingroom looking after Sakura and Koja. I wanted so badly to more time with little Koja,but being famous got in the way. It was somewhat upsetting to know that while practicing,Kaz was doing the things with Koja _**I** _should be doing.

It wasn't very long after Ami and I were done when I heard Koja calling for me: ''Mama! Mama!'' He sounded a bit sad. I went into the livingroom. Kaz wasn't there. Koja was by himself.

I picked him up and he seemed to calm down right away. After a few minutes,I sat him back down on the couch.

He came over to me and snuggled me,then he fell asleep next to me. I watched him. It always made me glad to see him so at peace like that,in stark contrast to how I used to be at his age.

You see,I didn't start out so bitter and tough. I've become that way because of what others have done to me---paticulary Father and Seicha. Father beat me fiercely and shunned me,Seicha taught me how to fight back.

And there were others,too...

* * *

_In a cul-de-sac-like area in the neighborhood there was an old house. It was made of wood and had sliding doors and windows,there was even one window that had a balcony. On the other side of that tree-lined road,this house would stick out like a sore thumb,but here it was fine. And it wasn't just any house,it was mine._

_The sun shone brightly through the window,waking me up. I got up. It was too bright for me to fall asleep again. I went into the hallway,and to my surprise,Mother was there._

_''Ah,perfect timing.'' She said._

_''Wh-what are you talking about?'' I asked._

_''Go change out of your pajamas and get your clothes on.''_

_I was somewhat confused. ''Are...are we going to the park?''_

_''Go to the park?'' Mother said,bewildered. ''Now?''_

_''Aren't we going to the park?'' I asked shyly._

_''No,we're not going there.''_

_I was even more confused now. ''Then...''_

_''What?''_

_''Then were are we going?''_

_''Go put your clothes on and I'll tell you.''_

_''But...but I want to know now.''_

_''Go put your clothes on first.'' Mother said,annoyed. _

_I went back into my room and did as I was told. When I came out Mother wasn't there. She was at the foot of the stairs waiting for me._

_I went to her and we left. As we drove off,I asked, ''Now will you tell me where we're going?''_

_''You're coming to work with me.'' Mother said._

_I was quite surprised. _

_''Don't you ever forget'' Mother said, ''that it is what I do that has been paying for the clothes on your back,the roof over your head,the food that you eat.'' _

_''You've never told me just what it is that you do.'' I said._

_''You'll see when we get there.'' And with that she turned the radio on.

* * *

_

_We had arrived. The inside of the building was an office or something similar---I was too intrested (and somewhat intimidated) to care._

_Mother went over to a black-haired man with a red-orange sweater and round glasses. I shyly followed her. The two of them talked for a minute,then Mother noticed me standing behind her._

_''Don't be so shy like that,'' She said, ''it's only Yamakawa-san.'' She stepped out of the way. Yamakawa-san looked at me for a moment,then he looked at Mother. _

_''So,this is Yumi?'' He asked._

_''Yes.'' Mother told him._

_''Konichi Wa.'' He said to me,bowing. I shyly nodded back._

_''How adorable she is,'' He said,looking me over. He smiled somewhat at Mother._

_''I congratulate you,Yoshimura-san.'' He said. ''I can't help but do so. Those charming eyes! That lovely hair! Yes,Yoshimura-san,I simply congratulate you. Hopefully I'll get to see your little boy sometime as well.''_

_''Umm...thank you,Yamakawa-san.'' I said,flattered._

_Yamakawa-san turned his attention back to Mother. They both went off. I followed them,but Mother stoppped me,telling me that I'd have to wait outside. Then she and Yamakawa-san went into another room,leaving me alone---or so I thought._

_''Is that her?'' Someone said. ''Is that Yoshimura-san's daughter?''_

_''The purple hair---yes,yes,it must be.'' Someone else said._

_I looked and saw two women standing near a desk not far from where I was standing. One of them was wearing a yellow kimono,and one was wearing a purple kimono. They both came up to me._

_''K-k-k-konichi Wa,'' I said nervously. ''Wh-where is--''_

_The one in the yellow kimono cut me off. ''Are you Keikai Yoshimura's daughter? You look like you could be her.''_

_''Y-yes I am.'' I said._

_''How old are you?'' The one in the purple kimono said._

_''I'm six.''_

_''What's your name?'' The yellow kimono one asked._

_''Yumi.''_

_She looked at me closely. ''Open your mouth.'' She said._

_''Wha--what for?'' I asked._

_''I need to look at something.'' I opened my mouth. She looked closely again. She pointed to something. ''How did you wind up with that--that--'fang'?''_

_She was talking about this one tooth I have that sticks out of my mouth at times and looks like a fang._

_''My father gave it to me.'' I told her. And that was right,Father had a tooth exactly like mine._

_''Interesting choice for him.'' She said._

_''Where is my mother?'' I asked them both._

_The two of them thought for a moment. ''I don't know.'' The purple kimono one said._

_I stood there,trying to think of where she could possibly be. It became too much for me to stand still. I left and went into the same room that Mother and Yamakawa-san went into eariler._

_When I got in there,I caught a glimpse of Mother. She was wearing a rather fancy outfit. I was about to go over to her when suddenly a light from a camera flashed. I flinched. Then there was another flash. And then not long after that,another. It all excited me so much that I felt like I was chained to the ground and couldn't move. It hurt my eyes to look at those flashes of light and yet my eyes were fixed on them._

_Then finally they stopped. I saw Mother go into another room,then a little while later she came back out in a purple and white kimono. She noticed me._

_''Yumi-chan!'' She said,somewhat angrily. ''What are you doing in here?'' She came up to me. ''I told you to wait outside.''_

_''But--but--but I got worried and I missed you. I had to come in. I just had to.''_

_Mother thought this over. ''I suppose you could stay in here,'' She said, ''as long as you don't bother us.''_

_I nodded. Mother went back over to where the cameras were. I stood there,watching her. It all seemed fine._

_Then the light flashed again. I flinched and covered my eyes,unsure of what just happened. I uncovered my eyes a moment later. Then the flash came again. And then after that it came again. I tried to stay as still as I could,but the urge to get away from all the commotion was driving me nearly insane._

_Then there were two flashes that happened both at the same time. Then after that,another flash. That did it. The longing to get out of there was freed at last. I ran out the door madly._

_I had reached the desk where Mother had talked with Yamakawa-san earlier. I stopped,out of breath. It wasn't long before Mother came out of the room with Yamakawa-san. She noticed me,took me by the hand,and then we left._

_On the way home there was not a word of it all mentioned. But still,I wanted to know just what this thing could be that Mother did that involved so many flashes of light.

* * *

_

_The next day,I was out in the front yard with Seicha. I told her all about what had happened. She seemed quite intrested._

_''Those lights,'' Seicha said, ''did they frighten you?''_

_''Yes,'' I said, ''the first time it happened my heart was beating so fast I couldn't breathe.''_

_Seicha stood there,thinking all of this over. ''Was there anything else that you saw there that you'd like to tell me about?''_

_''Uh-huh. I remember hearing a lot of talk about makeup.''_

_Seicha thought this over. ''Did your mother do anything with it?'' She said, ''I think I've almost gotten this figured out.''_

_I tried to remember. ''Well,it looked like she was holding it or something...but those lights...it--it was hard to see very well,so...''_

_''Aha!'' Seicha said, ''I get it now.''_

_''Really?'' I said,excited. ''Tell me!''_

_''Your mother is a model.'' Seicha said._

_I stood there thinking about this,surprised._

_''And that makeup,'' She went on, ''it's a really famous brand of it. Yes,it's got to be.''_

_''Famous...'' I said shyly._

_''Yes?'' Seicha asked._

_''Will I be...''_

_Seicha understood what I was trying to say. ''Well...'' She said, ''it's a bit too early to answer that.'' She thought for a moment. ''You never know,though...''_

_I sighed happily,my heart filled with hopefulness and excitement.

* * *

_

''Yumi?'' 

I opened my eyes. ''Huh?''

''What have you been doing in here?'' It was Ami.

''I...I...I was just kinda...daydreaming...you know...''

Someone else was there. It was Donjo,Ami's husband,and he was carrying Sakura. Koja was still asleep on the couch.

''Your brother wants to talk to you.'' Donjo said.

''Where is he?'' I asked.

''He's outside the bus waiting for you.'' Ami said.

I got up. ''Keep an eye on Koja for me,Ami.'' I said,then I left.

* * *

''What do you want,Buyo?'' I asked. 

''Well,'' He said, ''it's nothing important,really,it's just I'm going over to see Mom and I wanted to know if you want to come with me.''

A bit of a shock went through me. Should I go with him,or should I stay here? I didn't want to tell Buyo or Ami or anyone else that it's painful for me go back home.

''Ummm...well...Buyo...'' I said, ''Ami and I...we...we're practicing for this one really huge gig...and...''

''Yes?''

''I'm...not going to be able to come with you. Sorry.''

''Oh,'' He said,starting to walk off, ''I guess you can go there later or something.'' As he walked off,he turned to me. ''I'll be back tomorrow morning.'' And then he left.

I stood there filled with frustration.

* * *

A/N: (pant pant pant) I'm **_FINALLY_** done with this chapter! This has GOT to be the longest chapter I've done for ANY story,EVER. 

Anyways,here's something else about this chapter: That whole bit with Yumi's mom's job...I recall reading somewhere that the **real **Yumi's mom was a model,so I decided to have it where the animated Yumi's mom is too.

Enough of the yummy information. Now,please review and do make haste,flame me and my wrath,you shall taste! (hee hee hee I love that)

-----------------------------ShadowTheHegehog92 aka Shaddie--------------------------------


	7. Brutality

The sun was setting,casting a glow over the city streets. I didn't notice this,nor did I care about it as I stood on the street corner with a can of soda.

I looked over at the sunset. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply,drinking it all in. I had felt happier than I ever did for the first time since arriving in Osaka with Ami and Kaz.

It was short lived,however. I glanced over at the tree-lined road that was quite a distance away from where I was standing. I flinched. Just one look,**one look**,was enough to ruin everything.

I looked up at the sky. The sun was gone,and the stars were beginning to appear. The cool breeze blowing should have made everything peacful once more,but nothing could shake the overwhelming anger and misery.

* * *

_I was completely restless. There was nary a sound in the house;Buyo was not awake and hyper in the middle of the night like he tended to be,and there were hardly any sounds of police car sirens or anything like that outside. Why couldn't I sleep?_

_I got out of bed and quietly opened the door to my parent's room._

_''Mother,'' I whispered._

_''What...what do you want,Yumi-chan?'' She asked._

_''I can't sleep.'' I said,a little bit louder._

_But I suppose it was too loud..._

_''What in Buddah's name?'' Father said angrily. He got up out of bed and noticed I was standing there. He gave me that horrible look I knew so well. Just one look at him and I could tell that there would be no end to the beating._

_''WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE?'' He shouted,grabbing me by my pajamas and carried me over to the staircase. Then he threw me down the stairs,like a human Slinky._

_Dazed,I looked up and saw him coming down the stairs with a medicine bottle in his hand. Before I could come to my senses he was forcing the horrible stuff down my throat. The next thing I knew I felt awful and threw up._

_Then he threw the bottle on the floor and it broke into several shards of glass. He picked up one of the biggest shards,raised up my pajama sleeve,and stabbed me in the arm with it as hard as he could. I gritted my teeth as hard as I could,then I threw up again,this time it was bloody. He let go of the shard._

_''Boshi!'' Someone shouted. I looked and saw Mother coming down the stairs. She saw me on the floor,hyperventilating and coughing up blood._

_She glared at Father and slapped him hard,then pointed to the stairs. He groaned and went back to bed._

_Mother picked me up and carried me back to my room. She put me in bed and put a bandage on my bleeding arm. _

_There was rain falling down on my window. I imagined that the rain was washing away all the horrible things that had happened. I stared at the window for a long time,then the next thing I knew I was finally asleep.

* * *

_

I clenched my soda can with my fist as hard as I could as I thought of the brutality. Then I threw it down and walked away angrily. Just a single look at that road and I was filled with rage. 

But then I looked ahead of me and saw the cemetery. If the rage from seeing that road wasn't enough,looking at the cemetery drove me to the point of madness. I took off like a wild animal,running as fast as I could back to the bus.

I got there and burst through the door,then,panting heavily,I stopped.

''What happened?'' Ami asked.

''I...was...in a...hurry.'' I said,panting.

''I don't see why you'd be in a hurry,'' Ami said, ''but never mind.'' She picked up Sakura and left.

* * *

The next morning,Buyo returned. I asked him how everything went. 

''Well...'' He said, ''she...''

''What?'' I asked. ''Speak up.''

''She told me she's been waiting for you to come. I told her that you would sometime after you were done practicing for that huge gig of yours. Speaking of which,**are** you done?''

I thought for a moment. ''Umm...yes...yes, I am...'' I said,somewhat nervously.

''So...you'll go see her?'' Buyo asked.

I didn't want to say anything. I kept silent.

Buyo looked at me. A sly,almost hateful grin crossed his face. ''Oh,you will...'' He laughed a bit, ''if you don't want any **more** trouble...''

''Buyo,'' I asked, ''what are you talking about?''

He grinned that way once again. ''I'd hate for you to have to feel totally responsilble for **another** d--''

I knew what was coming. I snapped. I got up and glared at him. ''Buyo!''

He stopped.

''Buyo...I've heard enough.'' I calmed down a bit. ''Now,go and...do...whatever.'' I walked away.

_That Buyo! _I thought,_Does he **really** think he can talk to me like that? Can't he tell I've got enough to worry about already? No...no wait...I haven't told him...GAH! What can I do? What can I do if he doesn't know?_

I walked into my room and laid back on the bed,filled with bitterness.

* * *

A/N: Getting a little intresting now,huh? You'll find out why seeing the cemetery freaked Yumi out later. I also plan on having some more songs in the story...can't give away **too** much,though! 

Also,if you like these kinds of stories that are about a character's past,you might want to check out this other Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi fic I've done called _And So To Live._ It has a lot in common with this fic except it's about Kaz.

I haven't gotten very many reviews for it,and reviews encourage me to write more,so...**REVIEW! REVIEW,I SAY! **(evil laugh)...Okay okay I'll stop.

Well,reviews,ideas (especially ideas) and constructive criticism are a'ight with me;flames...ehh,not so much.

---------------------------------ShadowTheHedgehog92 aka Shaddie--------------------------


	8. All That Matters Is Now

Something freaky I discovered: Yumi in Japanese means bow (as in bow and arrow). What was her mother thinking?

* * *

''**YUMI YOSHIMURA**!'' An angry voice called out. I looked around. What in the world was I doing on the street corner? No one else was there. Odd. 

As I was trying to figure it out,a loud roar,much like thunder,crashed. It sounded like it was coming from almost right behind me.

Then it came again. It was a **gunshot**! I ran off like a wild beast,unaware that I was heading toward that dreaded tree-lined road.

But,if I could make it there and back to my house,I would probably be safe. I kept running. I looked behind me,and to my horror,Father was running after me---**with a gun**!

I ran faster. I had almost reached the tree-lined road when...

_**BLAM!**_

I felt great pain that brought me to my knees. I could not get up to run. I looked and saw a huge wound in my shoulder,the warm,oozing blood staining my purple skull shirt.

''Yumi!'' A voice said. It wasn't Father. ''Yumi! Get up!''

* * *

''Yumi! Get up!'' 

I opened my eyes. Ami was standing over me.

I sighed in relief. It was just a dream.

''What is it?'' I asked.

''I was wondering what you were doing.'' Ami said.

''I...I must have fallen asleep.'' I got up.

''You know,Yumi,'' Ami said as we walked back into the livingroom, ''you've been acting kind of odd lately. Is anything wrong?''

''Well...yes...but...'' I thought for a moment.

''What? Tell me,please.''

''I don't want to talk about it.'' I stopped walking and stood by the window,arms crossed.

''Oh,come on,Yumi,'' Ami said, ''we share everything...it's **always** been our rule!''

''Well,the rules have changed.'' I walked away. Ami called after me,but I did not go back.

* * *

I sat on the couch,deep in thought. 

Ami can't tell me what to do. I am one who is respected,admired,known to all (somewhat). No one can command me,no one can bother me in such a way. I will not let them get away with it,ever.

But that...that is **now**. I was powerless before.

* * *

_Ah,Madame Blubbery's opera class. I had been in it since I was very young,although I hated it._

_On this paticular day,some other students and I were getting ready for practice. One boy,Keigo,was giving us a warning before we got up on stage._

_''She has this freaky whistle thingie now,'' he said, ''so be careful,or else she'll use it to trick you. She could do it to any one of us...'' he pointed to the other students, ''she could do it to **you**,and **you**,and...'' he pointed to me,and I looked at him timidly. ''Yes,freak,she could even do it to **you**.'' And with that,he went up onstage. I would have to go up there in a few minutes._

_At one point Keigo refused to sing anymore,saying that he had nearly blown out his lungs. Madame Blubbery kept trying to pursuade him,but nothing worked._

_Then she took out a whistle from her pocket and started playing it. It sounded pretty._

_''Wh-what?'' Keigo said,somewhat dazed. ''All right,that's it!'' He said angrily,rolling up his sleeves._

_''Now,sing!'' Madame Blubbery shouted. Keigo sang. I watched,confused._

_''Hey,freak!'' Another student said,pushing me. ''You're on!''_

_I went up onstage,scowling._

_''Why aren't you singing?'' Madame Blubbery asked. I just stood there pouting._

_''Sing!'' She shouted._

_''No!'' I shouted back._

_Then she started playing the whistle again._

_I heard a voice calling for me. ''Yumi-chan!'' It said. ''Come,come!''_

_''Mother?'' I wondered aloud._

_''Now,sing!'' Madame Blubbery shouted. I just stood there,bewildered._

_The voice came again: ''Come!'' Yes,it was Mother's voice._

_''Now,**sing**!''_

_I did just that. I sang so loud every window in the theatre broke._

_''Good.'' And with that she put the whistle away. I stopped hearing Mother's voice._

_Then I understood. It wasn't Mother,it was the whistle! Keigo was right.

* * *

_

_Later on,I was back home. Mother wasn't back from work yet. It was rather strange...she had never been gone this long before._

_But then she came through the door. Someone else was with her. She had dark purple hair,green eyes,and a black jacket with a black skirt. Then I recognized her._

_''Aunt Yuru,'' I said, ''what are you doing here?'' But she and Mother just walked off into the kitchen,ignoring me. I followed them._

_Aunt Yuru noticed me. ''Oh,there you are,Yumi-chan!''_

_''Konichi Wa.'' I said to her shyly._

_''Why don't you come over here and show me how well you can sing?''_

_I wanted to tell her that I had already sung my heart out against my will eariler today,but I just couldn't._

_''Come and sing for me,little Yumi-chan.''_

_''Little!'' I shouted. ''You can't talk to me like that!''_

_''Yumi!'' Mother said angrily. ''Do you think that Yuru and I are doing wrong?''_

_''No,'' I said, ''I don't think that.''_

_''Good.''_

_''What do you mean?''_

_''It is enough that you feel we are right,'' She said,getting up from the table. ''that's enough for you. Now,go.''

* * *

_

What happened **then** does not matter. What **is to come** does not matter,at least to me. All that matters is **now**. 

But,if the past does not matter,why am I so tormented by it?

Some things I suppose I will never learn. But,that doesn't bother me...oh,no,it does.

Oh,please,let me leave Osaka. Let me leave and never come back.

* * *

A/N: Well,that's a wrap...for now. In the meantime,please review and do make haste,flame me and my wrath,you shall taste! 

--------------------------------------Shaddie-chan-----------------------------------------------


	9. Confessions

Disclaimer: The original lyrics to ''Endless Night'' (from the Broadway musical version of _The_ _Lion King_) belong to Disney.

* * *

I went to bed later than usual that night. There was still much on my mind,enough to keep me awake for quite a while before finally dozing off. When I woke up the next day it was already quite late...well,I had slept longer than Ami and Kaz had. I wasn't all that concerned about it all,though. I was sure that they had handled Koja's needs well,there was no need for me to worry about that. 

I sat up in bed. To my surprise,Jang Keng had slept on top of the bed the whole night. As I got out of bed she jumped off,startled. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. After putting on the same old skull shirt,studded armbands and the like,I went to go find everybody.

Ami was sitting at the table,she had apparently been waiting for me.

''There you are.'' She said.

''Good morning. Is Koja all right?'' I asked.

''Kaz is watching him right now.''

''Good.'' I sat down.

''Oh,yeah...Kaz made us pancakes.'' Ami said.

''That was nice.'' I told her,but I really didn't care. I sat there deep in thought,still feeling that gentle but miserable,restless stirring within,thinking of all the trouble I had brought upon myself simply by not talking to anyone about the misery of being back in Osaka.

_I should just go ahead and tell Ami,_I thought,_I should just get over it. But...it...is...so...difficult to talk about...I don't want to make matters worse..._

_**Gruuuu...**_

A low growl interrupted my thoughts.

''Wh-what was that?'' Ami asked.

''What...was what?'' I told her,laughing nervously.

_**Gruuuuu...**_

''Oh...uhmm...I guess it was my stomach.''

''Well,then why don't you eat those pancakes?''

''Oh.'' I did just that.

''Yumi...'' Ami said, ''I know you don't really want to talk to me about your stuff,but...you seem so...so...depressed lately.''

Ah,here was my chance. ''I know.'' I told her.

''Why? What is wrong with you?''

I sighed deeply. ''When I still lived here...my father...he...''

''Okay...this doesn't sound good...'' Ami said.

''He...did...horrible things to me.'' I lifted up my sleeve to show Ami the scar on my arm where he had stabbed me with a shard of glass.

''Did that scar come from something he did?''

''Yes.''

''So...you don't want to be here because he'll do that stuff to you again?''

''N-n-no...it's just that...I...I..I...''

''What?''

''I did...I did something very wrong,Ami.''

''What did you do?''

''I wanted...for him...to...'' I couldn't stand it. ''I'll...I'll...I'll tell...you...later.'' I thought I was going to lose my mind if this kept up. I went to go find Koja,still stinging inside.

* * *

_''**THAT KIMONO WAS TEN THOUSAND TIMES MORE VALUBLE THAN YOU!**'' Father shouted,slamming me up against the wall. I had accidently gotten some melted ice cream on his luxurious silk kimono._

_He then threw me to the ground like a flour sack. I sat there staring at him in fear. Then,when I thought it was over at last,he picked me up by the shirt collar again and took me upstairs to my parent's bedroom. Now,what on earth was happening now? I wished I hadn't wondered,for the answer was miserable: he locked me in the closet._

_''Let me out!'' I shouted,banging on the door. ''Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Father! Father!'' But he had left,not a single thought of mercy in his head,not a single thought,I tell you._

_I lay there sprawled out on my stomach,my head on the floor,hair in my eyes somewhat,sobbing hard. The thought in my head,the only thought in my head,was...why? Why was he doing this to me? Why?_

_But just then when I thought all hope was lost,the closet door opened. Mother was home. I ran out and hugged her tight,overjoyed._

_Yes,I always had hope when she was around. And that,my friend,was what I deserved.

* * *

_

And Koja seemed to feel the same,too. When he saw me he came running up to me and hugged me tight. I picked him up,speaking softly to him and cuddling him. 

But then Sakura came running up to me too,and she wanted to play with Koja. I sat Koja down and let them play.

Koja looked at Sakura happily. ''Mama said she loves me...'' He said,smiling. I smiled,too,somewhat.

But part of me felt miserable,for it all reminded me of Mother. Why didn't I just go back home? Why couldn't I? What is stopping me?

* * *

_One evening in winter,Buyo was ill. This was not good news at all,because for Father,Buyo was the centre of attention,more so than I had been or would ever be...to him,at least._

_''Is...is Buyo going to be okay?'' I asked shyly. Father said nothing and kept on standing at Buyo's bedside._

_''Is...is...is he?'' I asked again._

_Father had had enough. He looked at me,eyes ice cold and cruel. He grabbed my arm and dug his fingernails into it as until it bled._

_''AAAHHH! FATHER! IT HURTS,FATHER!''_

_He let go. I stared at my bleeding arm in horror.

* * *

_

The marks,athough somewhat hard to see,were still there. Constant reminders of such horrid times are everywhere. Nothing could cause more heartache,nothing,not a single thing. 

I walked outside. All seemed peaceful,except for me. I walked down the streets,my heart filled with an anxious fury.

''Yumi,where are you going?''

I looked behind me. It was Ami.

I sighed. ''I...need to get out for a little while.'' I told her,then I walked off. She followed me.

''Yumi,'' She said, ''I know you're sad,but just avoiding everybody isn't going to solve anything.''

''I know,'' I said, ''but I do it nonetheless.''

We both stood on the street corner. The sun's position in the sky clearly said it was late afternoon,almost sunset. It was not too hot,not too cold. Cars came,cars went,and so did people. I can clearly remember it all being like this when I was younger,however dark those times were.

''I wish it could be this nice forever...'' Ami said softly, ''but nothing lasts forever.''

''No.'' I said,softly but angrily, ''No,not at all.''

''I'm sorry about your dad.'' Ami said,still rather softly.

''What...what...what are you talking about? Who told you that he is--''

''I mean,I'm sorry for what he did.''

''Oh...okay,I see.'' I sighed in relief.

I looked up in the sky. ''It's my fault...'' I whispered to myself, ''It's all...my...fault...'' I swallowed back my tears.

''What are you talking about?'' Ami asked.

''Uh...uhh...uhh...I...have...'' I thought quickly, ''I...have...to...go...now.'' I ran off. Ami called after me,but I was already gone.

I stopped at the door of a cafe,out of breath. I looked. Ami and the bus were out of sight. Good.

The sun had set,and the cool breeze was blowing. Not far from where I was,there was the old tree-lined road,its remaining pink blossoms falling in the wind.

I stood and stared at it. _''Where has the sunlight gone?'' _I sang, _''Dark is the day...how can I ever go home?''_

I looked up. One by one the stars appeared.

_''Hope is an empty dream,lost in the night...Mother,I feel so alone...''_

I walked on. _''You promised you'd be there whenever I needed you...whenever I call your name,you're not anywhere. I'm trying to hold on,just waiting to hear your voice...one word,just a word will do,to end this nightmare...''_

Tears ran down my face,and I didn't care who noticed. _''When will the dawning break? Oh,endless night...sleepless I dream of the day...when you were by my side,guiding my path...Mother,I can't find the way...''_

_''You promised you'd be there whenever I needed you...whenever I call your name,you're not anywhere. I'm trying to hold on,just waitng to hear your voice...one word,just a word will do,to end this nightmare.''_

I looked,my eyes blurred with tears. The bus was only a few blocks away.

I sighed and walked in that direction. _''I know that the night must end,'' _I sang to myself,_ ''and that the sun will rise,and that the sun will rise. I know that the clouds must clear,and that the sun will shine,and that the sun will shine...''_

I kept on repeating those words until I reached the bus. I walked in with renewed peace...for the moment.

* * *

A/N: Well I promised more songs...there you go! That song had to be shortened just a bit,though. 

Well,now it seems that Yumi has finally told Ami about her problems...but it ain't over till the fat lady sings! You all better stay tuned! (hee hee)

In the meantime,please review me,but don't flame or else I'll make you listen to the Barney theme song day in and day out! (evil laugh) Oh and Happy 4th Of July!

------------------------------------------Shaddie-chan-------------------------------------------


	10. Family Heirlooms And Bad News

When I returned to the bus Ami was waiting for me.

''What in the world were you doing?'' She asked. Apparently she had been concerned.

''I...was...'' I thought for a moment. ''I...had to...get away...from...all this talk about...you know...'' And that was the truth.

''Oh...I understand.'' Ami said. ''Come over here and sit down...look what Kaz made for us!''

I sat down at the table with Ami. There was a slice of chocolate cake with whipped cream on it.

Ami cut it in half. I ended up with the half that had the least whipped cream.

''Ami!'' I said angrily. ''Don't you remember?''

''Remember what?'' Ami said with her mouth full.

''We add it all up and divide it in two!''

''Huh?''

''That's...that's our rule...right?''

''Yes...'' Ami said,taking another bite of cake.

''Then why do you always have to get the good part?'' I asked.

''Well,Yumi,'' Ami said, ''I'm older than you.''

''Only by a year and a half!'' I said angrily.

''Whatever...''

* * *

That night,before I went to bed,I was organizing the things in my closet. I noticed something that I had nearly forgotten...my old shamisen. (A/N: A shamisen is a Japanese lute) It was still in good shape,it was a bit dirty, but at least it wasn't broken. 

I brushed off some of the dust and cobwebs and tried to play it. It still sounded fine,old as it was. It was a family heirloom,you see.

I put it with my favorite guitar (which I sometimes like to call ''Gita-san''). It would be safe there.

I sat on the bed. Jang Keng came up to me,purring. I petted her and she purred louder.

I laid back on the bed,still petting Jang Keng,but deep in thought.

* * *

_''These are all yours?'' I asked Mother as I looked at the beautiful kimonos in the closet---the sort of kimonos you'd see a geisha wear._

_''They were your grandmother's,'' She said, ''But when you're bigger you can wear them too.'' Then she dug something else out of the closet._

_''What is that?'' I asked._

_''It is a shamisen.'' Mother said. ''This belonged to your grandmother,too.'' She handed it to me._

_''What do you do with it?''_

_''Why...you make lovely music with it!''_

_Music! I started to play it,and I loved it._

_''Be careful with that,'' Mother said. ''It's very old.''_

_''Okay!'' I ran to go show it to Buyo,but first... ''Domo Arigato,Mother!'' I said,hugging her,and with that I left._

_I played my new (well..not-so-new) shamisen often,but one day,when I was walking around the neighborhood with Mother,things changed somewhat._

_I looked into the window of a store and saw a fancy guitar. My eyes were fixed on it for a while,but then Mother called for me and I ran to her._

_After a little while I asked, ''Mother...can I have a guitar?''_

_Mother seemed bewilded. ''A guitar? You already have a shamisen.''_

_''But that thing is old! I want a NEW musical instrument to play!''_

_''Well...'' Mother thought this over, ''maybe when you're older.''_

_Well...it seemed I had something wonderful to look forward to. When I went to sleep that night,I dreamt of playing that fancy guitar and having great adventures.

* * *

_

I got up off of the bed. I looked at old ''Gita-san'',the guitar Mother had promised and gave to me a year later. (I was six when she gave me the shamisen.) 

Then I looked at the old family heirloom. There was absolutely no way I'd go up onstage with THAT thing. But that doesn't mean I hate it.

Speaking of going up onstage...

''Yumi!'' Ami said,coming into my room. ''Kaz tricked us!''

''How?'' I asked.

''I was talking with him before I went to bed,and he said that this 'vacation' here in Osaka is really part of the tour!''

''I thought the tour was finished!'' I said,somewhat angrily.

''I did too,'' Ami said, ''but...GAH! Kaz just doesn't know when to quit,does he?''

''Now,now Ami...settle down for a minute...hopefully this is the last show of the tour...why don't you go ask Kaz?''

''He's in bed. I'll have to ask him tommorow.''

''Yeah...'' I got back into bed,''well,good night,Ami.''

''Good night.'' Ami left.

I went to sleep mulling all this over.

* * *

A/N: Heh heh heh heh ain't ol' Kazzie just evil! We'll have to wait and see what happens at the concert...stay tuned! 

Until then,please review and do make haste,flame me and my wrath,you will taste!

-------------------------------------Shaddie-chan-------------------------------------------------


	11. The Concert

The ringing of the alarm clock snapped me out of a sound sleep,and needless to say I wasn't too thrilled about that. I somwhat clumsliy reached over and hit it,and it stopped. But that wasn't the end...

''Yumi!'' Ami said,knocking on my door. ''Yumi!''

''Wh...wh...what?''

''Yumi,'' She opened the door, ''I was talking with Kaz just now,and he said the concert is tonight.''

''What? Are you serious?''

''Yes. I'm pretty upset myself.''

I groaned and got up out of bed. ''Fine...I'll just have to deal with it...''

''What's all this about?'' Someone said,coming in. It was Buyo.

''We have a concert tonight.'' I told him.

''Can I come and watch?'' Buyo asked.

''Sure.'' I said. ''**You're **not the one with problems.''

''What are you talking about,Yumi?'' Ami asked.

''You know my problems...'' I said.

Buyo grinned hatefully. ''It serves you right,'' He said. ''You're nothing but a cold,heartless m-''

''Buyo!'' I shouted, ''**_SHUT UP_**!'' The windows broke. All was silent.

''Cold,heartless...what?'' Ami said.

''Don't listen to him.'' And with that I left.

* * *

That afternoon as Ami and I were getting ready,I considered,for a moment,bringing both ''Gita-san'' and my old shamisen to the concert. But then I stopped myself. The shamisen had to be kept in good condition. But still,I needed to bring something fancy with me,I didn't want the whole thing to be a waste of time. 

So,I dug through the closet again. This time I found something else that was old: a parasol made of rice paper with my name written on it. I looked around in there some more,and found an old white kimono,a long red skirt,and a round samurai hat.

_Could I..._I thought,_no...that just wouldn't work these days...but they were fun while they lasted...

* * *

_

_''All right,'' I said to myself as I stood in front of the mirror with my parasol,''It goes like this...'' I was practicing for the dance I was going to do at the Summer Festival that evening._

_''Yumi-chan!'' Mother called out to me,''Your kimono is ready!''_

_''Coming!'' I went downstairs,got my kimono and my skirt,went back upstairs,and put it on,along with my samurai hat. Now I was ready._

_Buyo came into my room just as I had finished. He was wearing a samurai hat too,and he had a black kimono on._

_He looked at me happily with his charming brown eyes. Although he said nothing,he clearly was ready to go._

_''Come on,Buyo.'' I said,and with that we both headed downstairs.

* * *

_

_At the top of a small hill,the building was there. The roof corners pointed upwards,there were round lanterns hanging everywhere,and you could hear the music from outside. I was glad to be there,because this was the first time I had ever actually performed here._

_Mother,Father and Buyo went to go sit in the audience while I was backstage. I knew that this would be my chance to strike back at anyone who had taunted me before...if they were there. I doubted it,but I knew that this would most likely be my chance to show Father that I wasn't as worthless as he thought._

_The pretty kimono-clad girls with their little fans were finished,and as the lights dimmed,I got up onstage._

_The lights came up again,and I began. First,I opened up the parasol,and slowly thrusted it up and all around into the air as if it were a sword. Then I closed it,then thrusted it into the air again,straight at the audience._

_I opened it up again,twriling it around with one hand,then quickly switched hands,and kept this up for some time befrore thrusting it at the audience again. I did my twirling thing again,and this time I threw the parasol up into the air,and upon catching it I closed it up._

_Then,the **real** action started. I leapt into the air,doing kung-fu like moves with the parasol as they beat the taiko drumbs louder and harder. I twirled the closed parasol around,then threw it into the air,then I leapt up, caught it and opened it,staring icily at the crowd. The dance was finished._

_Everyone appluaded,and of this I was glad...or I would have been. I looked into the audience as I left,and Father seemed to have been ignoring me the whole time,focusing all his attention on Buyo._

_I scowled as I headed backstage and into the audience to watch the rest of the show. Father said nothing to me,all his attention was still squarely on Buyo._

_I was so depressed and angry that I couldn't enjoy any of the show. I honestly didn't care at all about it at that point._

_As I sat there deep in thought,Mother tapped me on the shoulder._

_''Are you all right?'' She asked._

_''I'm...I'm fine...'' I said,even though nothing could be further from the truth.

* * *

_

By the time of the concert,I still had not decided what I was going to do there. I had left my shamisen and my old kimono and the like in the bus,so they were out of the question. 

But as I got ready backstage with Ami,it suddenly hit me.

''Yes,'' I said to myself, ''it's perfect!''

''What was that?'' Ami asked.

''I was just talking to myself.'' I said.

* * *

Ami and I got up onstage as they all cheered at the top of their lungs for us. Looking out into that huge crowd,it felt like the old Summer Festival all over again. 

A perfect sort of feeling.

After Ami and I had finished the first few songs,I took old ''Gita-san'' and thrusted it up and all around into the air as if it were a sword. Then I thrusted it straight at the audience with,I am sure,a rather sly grin on my face. Then I twirled it with one hand,then after a minute or so I quickly switched hands,then I threw it in the air,only to begin the twirling routine again upon catching it.

I looked and saw that Ami was watching in awe. ''That's...that's incredible,Yumi!'' She said.

And then,at that point,I decided that the **real** action should begin. I leapt up into the air,doing kung-fu like moves with ''Gita-san'' and thrusting it at the audience once more. I twirled it around,jumped up and caught it,then stared at the crowed icily. They **loved** it,of this I was truly glad.

''Yumi,'' Ami asked quietly,''where did you learn to do that?''

''Heh...long story...'' I said, ''now,let's just get this over with.''

* * *

A/N: That was sooo much fun to write! In the next chapter,things will start to heat up a little bit...stay tuned! 

Also,great news...I HAVE AN ACCOUNT ON DEVIANTART NOW! YEEEEAAAAHHH!

I have some drawings of my original characters there,including Buyo...the link is on my profile page.

In the meantime,please review and do make haste,flame me and my wrath,you will taste! (evil laugh)

--------------------------------------Shaddie-chan-----------------------------------------------


	12. The Tragic Night

The concert was soon over. Everyone jumped up and down and cheered because they loved Ami and me,they loved our music,they loved it all. Despite such praise,I couldn't shake a strange,overwhelming sadness.

As we stepped off the stage,I looked behind me out into the crowds,and noticed someone seemingly familiar in that vast throng of people. Was it Mother? I believe it was,but of course I'll never be sure.

After Ami went back into the bus,I decided to stay outside for a bit longer and watch the night go by,trying not to be so depressed. I was out there for quite some time,and it did me no good. I went back into the bus,hoping I would find something to do to take my mind off my sadness.

''There you are,'' Ami said as I walked in. ''you seemed upset at the concert,so I'm making sushi for you!''

Well,it seemed that Ami had definitely found something to do,and maybe she'd help me by doing so.

She had made quite a lot of sushi,and it's a little embarrassing to say that I scarfed down every single bite. But still,it did me no good.

After that,we both sat down on the couch. Ami turned on the TV,and I sat deep in thought,oblivious to everything else.

Why couldn't I just tell Ami the truth?

* * *

_It was one those pleasant Autumn days,when it was lovely all around with the falling leaves._

_I was in the backyard making a big pile out of them. When I was done,I watched as the rest of the leaves fell to the ground,or blown by the wind. I closed my eyes,took a deep breath,and let it all soak in,feeling perfectly happy. It seemed as if I had no worries at all for the moment,possibly because Father had been in the hospital for nearly two weeks,leaving me without fear for perhaps the first time in my life._

_I leapt into the pile of leaves,and just as I was starting to make another,Mother called for me and I went back inside._

_Soon afterwards the phone rang. Buyo came up to her after she answered it and asked, ''Who is it?''_

_''It's your father.'' She told him._

_About halfway into the conversation,Mother seemed shocked about something. Buyo didn't ask anything,he just watched._

_Finally she said,''All right,Boshi,we'll come see you later this afternoon.'' Then she hung up._

_She kept her word;we DID go see him that afternoon. But first,Buyo and I sat and listened while Mother was talking with a doctor._

_I was too preoccupied with keeping Buyo happy to pay any attention to either one of them. But,there was one thing that made both our ears perk up: ''...Yoshimura-san,he probably has three months...at the most.''_

_Now,what did **that** mean? Mother seemed rather upset about it,so Buyo and I didn't ask._

_When we got to Father's hospital room there was not a word of it mentioned. Father,ill as he was,did not want to see me at all. Buyo,on the other hand...a completely different story. They were both glad to see each other._

_The visit was soon over,and we left for home._

_As the weeks went by,it seemed to be the same routine: we'd go and visit Father,and he would shun me as usual,and seeing him so happy with Buyo angered me beyond belief. The fact that Father was getting worse and worse did nothing to help me._

_One evening after one such visit,the three of us were sitting on the couch together. Buyo seemed worried about something. Finally he asked, ''Mom...is Dad going to die?''_

_Hesitating for a moment,Mother told him,''Yes...I'm afraid so...you know how sick he is.''_

_Father had made me so angry the past couple of weeks (and for that matter,my entire life),and finally it all came out...did it ever!_

_''He deserves to die!'' I shouted._

_Buyo was shocked at first,and then he glared at me._

_''Yumi-chan!'' Mother said. ''Don't say such things!''_

_I didn't really think that there was anything wrong about saying that...it WAS truly the way I felt,what could be so wrong about saying my opinons?_

_Then came...**that night**._

_Buyo and I had stayed awake longer than usual. After Buyo went to bed I could tell that he had fallen asleep right away,but I laid awake in bed for just a little while,thinking. I was just about to doze off when the phone rang. Who would be calling us this late at night? Then I knew: the hospital. Something had happened to Father._

_After a few minutes,Mother came upstairs and woke Buyo up,then she came and got me._

_''Get your clothes on,'' She said, ''we have to go to the hospital. Now.''

* * *

_

_The drive from our house to the hospital was not a long one,and once the three of us arrived we quickly headed upstairs to where Father's room was. Mother led me and Buyo into the waiting room just as we were almost there._

_''Wait here.'' She said to us,then left._

_Buyo seemed very nervous and could hardly sit still,but there was absolutely nothing I could do for him._

_I waited anxiously for Mother for what seemed like days,Buyo's troubles making it worse._

_Then finally she came back. The look on her face clearly said that something was wrong...horribly wrong._

_''What happened,Mother?'' I asked. _

_She sighed. ''Your father...''_

_There was a pause. Buyo looked at her nervously._

_''...is no longer with us.''

* * *

_

_The beautiful night glossed over the sorrow. The meloncholy sounds from the wind sang a song of a fallen beast,blowing it all into oblivion._

_Mother,Buyo and the rest of my family stood mournfully at the tall marble gravestone with the bowl of incense at the base,the wind blowing the scent towards me. I watched them,standing far away at the statue of a dragon near the entrance to the cemetary._

_As I looked away I thought of what I had said about Father. A wave of incomprehensible shock flowed through every bone in my body. Now I knew why I had made Mother and Buyo so upset. Worse,it meant that Father's death...it was all my fault._

_I felt completely miserable inside,so much that I could hardly stand up. Mother and Buyo came up to me._

_''What are you doing over here?'' Mother asked._

_I sighed. ''I just...I just can't go over there...''_

_''Don't you have any regrets?'' Buyo asked angrily._

_''Y-yes...'' I swallowed back my tears, ''I...I do...''_

_''Remember what you said?'' _

_''Y-y-yes...''_

_Buyo glared at me. ''You...Yumi Yoshimura...are nothing but **a cold,heartless murderer!**'' He then rolled up his sleeves and prepared to hit me,but Mother stopped him._

_''Buyo!'' She said. ''This is not the time for that!'' She then took him by the hand and started to walk back to the gravesite. ''Are you coming,Yumi?''_

_I sighed. ''No...I don't deserve to.'' The tears of guilt came at last.

* * *

_

And they still came. I cry in my sleep over it all almost every night,and I was fighting to urge to do so sitting there on the couch with Ami. Apparently she noticed. 

''Is something wrong,Yumi?'' She asked.

I sighed. ''Yes.''

''What is it?''

I mustered up all my courage. ''Ami...do you want to know why I've been so miserable?''

''Yes,I do.'' She said.

''It's...it's...because...''

''What?''

''My father's dead...and...'' The tears began once more.

''And what?''

Finally I simply could not hold back my tears. ''...it's...it's...it's all my fault.'' I turned away so she couldn't see me cry.

But apparently she did. ''It's okay,Yumi,let it out.'' She said,giving me a hug.

''And that's...'' I sniffled, ''...why Buyo's been so upset with me.''

''So...you finally decide to confess,eh?'' Someone said. It was Buyo.

''Buyo!'' I said. ''You...you should just...just...''

''Yes?''

''You should just...**go**!''

He raised his fist at me. ''Not until I've finally made you pay!''

* * *

A/N: Aaaannnd...Yumi finally reveals her secret! Now do you see why the cemetary freaked her out a few chappies back? And we've got a little bit of a cliffhanger here too! Whoo! 

Until the next chappie,please review and do make haste,flame me and my wrath,you will taste!

-----------------------------------Shaddie-chan---------------------------------------------------


	13. Confronting Buyo

I glared at Buyo,clenching my fists. How dare he!

''Isn't there something you want to say?'' He said,grinning hatefully.

''Yes.'' I said. ''I want you to leave me alone.''

''Is that all?'' Buyo asked angrily. ''That's not gonna happen!''

We both looked at each other steely-eyed.

''I'm warning you,sis---''

''No,Buyo,'' I said,cutting him off, ''I'm warning **you**. Go!''

''No!'' He turned away. ''You thought Dad was cold-hearted,huh?''

I knew where this was going. I clenched my fists tighter.

''He was no monster,Yumi---**_YOU ARE_**!'' He raised his fist and came running towards me. I shoved him with my arm as hard as I could,and he stumbled into the bus door,making it come open,and he fell outside.

I could have just left him there and let it all be over with,but an incomprehensible fury was raging within...**now it was _he_ who deserved to die**.

I ran outside almost blindly. Buyo got up and prepared to strike me again,but I slashed his shoulder with the spikes on my armbands. He fell over in pain. As he was lying there on the ground,I prepared to slash him once more,but he got out of the way, just barely missing the spikes as they left deep slashes in the dirt.

Lighting struck from behind us,and it wasn't long before the rain started.

I grabbed Buyo's shirt collar and slapped him hard as many times as I could,but he soon pulled away and tried to hit me once more. I dodged his attempt,then slapped him once more,slightly scratching his face with my spikes,almost knocking him down. Just **what** was this horrible,blood-boiling rage that made us both want to kill each other?

I grabbed a small,sharp-edged rock that was lying on the ground,and threw it at Buyo,just barely missing his eye. The rock left a small scratch under it. Then he decided that he would do the same. He picked up a large,heavy,but blunt rock and threw it at me,but he missed.

Buyo ran up to me with his fist raised once more,and,thinking quickly,I hit him back,making him fall. He got up and,hatefully glaring at me,tried again...but this time I slashed his chest with my spikes,and he fell,badly wounded.

I stared evilly at him as he weakly rose to his feet,defeated. Then I looked towards the bus,and instantly,all evil left me. Ami,Kaz,Sakura and Koja had watched the whole thing. Koja just stared at me with a sort of deer-in-the-headlights look in his eyes.

I went to pick him up and calm him down,but he just backed away from me. Finally,he darted back inside and hid underneath a pillow on the couch.

Then I understood: Koja had seen my rage and he was now afraid of me.

This was the price I paid.

I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to my room and slammed the door,in shame.

* * *

A/N: I'm sure you're thinking, ''What? No flashback?'' Well...there will most likely be one in the next chapter...stay tuned. 

Whew...this story's almost over...only about four more chappies left.

Until the next time,review me;flamers get their butts kicked...you know the drill.

--------------------------------------Shaddie-chan-----------------------------------------------


	14. Departure

Breathing heavily,I glanced around my room,making sure no one could see how miserable I was. No one was there,not even Jang Keng. Good.

Feeling more ashamed and angry at myself than I had ever been before,I grabbed my lamp and threw it on the ground. It broke almost instantly. I grabbed the biggest,sharpest one I could find,raised up my sleeve,and painfully jabbed myself in the arm with it as hard as I could. Yes. You heard that correctly. I dug the thing in deeper and deeper as blood spilled onto the floor like a sort of small river,grinding my teeth in agony the whole time.

From out of almost nowhere a voice cried out, ''Yumi,stop!''

I paid no attention to it.

''Yumi,stop!'' The voice said again. Still I ingored it.

''YUMI,IN THE NAME OF ALL THE EMPERORS,PAST AND PRESENT,**STOP**!''

That did it. I took the shard out of my arm,then feebly turned my head in the direction of the voice. It was Ami who had called.

''Yumi,'' She said,concerned and angry, ''what in the world are you doing?''

''It's...it's exactly what it looks like.'' I told her.

She looked at my arm. It was still bleeding heavily.

''Stay right there,'' She said,then left. In a minute or two she came back with a wet washcloth,which she put on my arm without warning.

It stung somewhat,but that wasn't what bothered me. I wanted to be left alone.

''Get out,'' I said to Ami,softly but angrily.

''But...but I need to help you,'' She said.

''Get out.''

''But,Yumi,I...''

''GET OUT!'' And with that she left,leaving the washcloth behind.

I sat against the wall,pressing the washcloth against my arm. It was then I realized that there seemed to be nothing that could ease the pain of being back home. Talking about it did nothing. Taking it out on Buyo and Ami didn't help. Keeping it to myself didn't help.

I looked out the window,thinking. Considering the things I had just done and the things I had done before,did I really deserve to be part of Puffy Amiyumi? Did I **ever** deserve this?

* * *

_Once,after a concert,I was signing autographs with Ami when a boy of about 15 came up to me and asked me to sign his hat._

_While I was doing so,he asked, ''You're from Osaka,right?''_

_''Right,'' I said._

_''Well,I just got back from vacation out there.''_

_''Really?''_

_''Uh-huh. My hotel was in this neighborhood where the buildings were all old and made out of wood and there were those round lanterns hanging everywhere,and the road leading to it had a bunch of trees around it...kinda like an archway.''_

_''That's where I grew up!'' I said to him happily._

_He looked at me and arched an eybrow. ''You're joking,right?''_

_I shook my head no and gave him his hat back._

_''You...living there...'' He started to laugh. ''That's like building a palace in a landfill!'' And with that he put his hat back on and left._

_I understand why he didn't beleive me. When you really think about it,I'm not really glitz-and-glamor material. I'm a model's daughter from rual Osaka,and my life as the ''Awesome Goddess Of Rock'' didn't really begin until about a year after my father died. I had a summer job at one of the local department stores at that time,working at the customer service desk. On this paticular morning,I had gotten to the store late and had barely slept at all the night before. It certainly didn't help that customer after customer came to the desk nearly every five minutes with some absurd query,such as ''Do you have this bottle of sake in Extra-Large?''_

_After about three hours,things began to slow down a bit---for me,anyway. The other man working at the desk,Maki,had to deal with the worst of them and the worst of them were most fussy!_

_After he told one such customer where the jumper cables were sold,he said to me, ''Consider yourself lucky,Purplehead.''_

_My ears perked up. ''What did you say?'' I asked angirly._

_''I said,consider yourself lucky,Purplehead.''_

_I slapped him. ''No one calls me 'Purplehead' and gets away with it!''_

_Soon after the two of us got back to work,our boss,Takahaki-san,arrived._

_''Yoshimura!'' He said to me. I hate it when they use my last name._

_''Yes?''_

_''Maki's brother has just joined,and he'll be taking your place.''_

_I thought this over. ''Er huh?''_

_''Maki's brother is taking your place. You don't have to work here anymore.''_

_I was surprised. ''Does my mother know about this?''_

_''No.'' And with that he bid us both goodbye._

_One part of me was happy,and the other part was not. Now what?_

_I rode the elevator to the top floor,which was outside on the rooftop. I got an orange soda from one of the vending machines as well as a newspaper._

_I sat down at one of the tables,and as I read the newspaper and sipped the soda,I tried to make sense of what had happened._

_Well,there really was no reason to worry about what was to come,for I saw it,right in front of my eyes._

_An ad in the newspaper read:_

_**NATIONAL TALENT SEARCH**_

_**Held by Kaz Harada at Titan Studios,Tokyo,Japan**_

_**Send in your tapes or come and try out**_

_**Deadline: August 13**_

_It was late June,so I had plenty of time to try out. Pleased with what I had found,I took the paper and rode the elevator downstairs. It was about time that I left this place behind anyway---not just my job,but Osaka._

_I left the store and walked home,mustering up my courage to tell Mother about everything. I knew she would most likely be upset that I had lost me job,but it really wasn't my fault._

_Mother and I seldom talked at that time...the way we used to anyway. Ever since Father died she had become unusally hostile with me. Grief can do that,I suppose._

_When I got back home Mother was on the couch smoking her pipe the way she usually did. I sat down with her,and just as I thought,she didn't notice I was there._

_''Mother,'' I said gently. That got her attention._

_''Yes,Yumi?'' She said,taking her pipe out of her mouth for a moment._

_''I have good news and bad news.''_

_''Is that so?'' _

_''The bad news is...I lost my job.''_

_Mother was so shocked she dropped her pipe. ''Are you serious?''_

_''Yes. I was replaced. It-it wasn't my fault,honest.''_

_''Well,then,'' Mother picked her pipe back up, ''what's the good news?''_

_''The good news is...'' I gave her the newspaper and showed her the ad._

_''Talent search,hmm?'' She said,reading it._

_''Yes.''_

_''And why are you showing this to me?'' She put the paper down._

_I summoned all my courage. ''Because I want to try out for it.''_

_Mother stared at me for a moment,then laughed. ''You...going to that? Ha! What are you going to do,show off that old shamisen to them? Why,they'd kick you out faster than you can say 'wasabi!' Really,just what are you thinking,Yumi-chan?''_

_''I'm thinking of trying out,Mother,and no,I'm not going to show them that stupid shamisen. I'll bring Gita-san.''_

_''Gita-san?''_

_''It's a nickname for that guitar of mine. You know,the one you got me?''_

_''Oh yes...that thing.''_

_Mother thought all this over. ''Well,'' She finally said after quite some time, ''if you really think you must go to that...you can.''_

_''When can I go?'' I asked eagerly._

_''Sunday morning.'' She said._

* * *

_Tuesday,Wendsday,Thursday,and Friday came and went,and before long I was in bed on Saturday night,restless,thinking about what the future may hold. Would this Kaz fellow accept me,or would I have to return to Osaka,bringing sad news to Mother? Oh,how nervous I was! But before long,too much thinking tired me,and the next thing I knew I was asleep._

_Sunday morning came,and with it,my first steps on the road to greatness...I hoped. I had packed all my things the night before,and after putting on my skull shirt and spiked armbands,I headed downstairs where Mother and Buyo were waiting to say goodbye to me._

_I gave Buyo a hug and told him I loved him,even though our relationship had been rather strained since Father's death._

_I did the same to Mother. ''Oh,Yumi-chan,'' She said,a sob rising in her throat, ''please...tell me you'll come back...please...''_

_''Of course I'll come back to see you,'' I said,growing quite sad myself. _

_''I'll definitely miss you...'' Mother said._

_''Me too...'' I swallowed back my tears. ''But we can't be sad like this all day...I have to get going.''_

_As I started to walk out the door I looked back. Mother and Buyo were waving goodbye. I waved back,then left._

_Just before climbing aboard the bullet train to Tokyo,I looked back. Somehow I felt that my old self,cute little ''Yumi-chan,'' had been destroyed,and in her place was...the future was so uncertain at that time it really didn't make any difference. I sat down,got a few books out of one of my suitcases,then braced myself for the three hour trip._

_The aforementioned three hours passed rather quickly,and before long I was standing on the street corner,overcome with a meloncholy sense of homesickness,as well as worry...worry that things wouldn't work out. I felt ashamed of myself for leaving home,leaving behind what was left of my family._

_Glancing about gloomily,I noticed a sushi bar across the street. Maybe food would take my mind off of such worry and shame._

_Well,my friend,that didn't happen. I sat there just as depressed as ever. The waitress apparently saw my sad eyes almost overflowing with tears,and asked, ''Is something wrong?''_

_I gulped back my tears and tried to sound as normal as possible. ''I stubbed my toe,'' I told her,and she didn't say anything else to me._

* * *

Going back home was so painful,I didn't keep my word about visiting Mother. Buyo had told me that when he went to go see her she had been waiting for me. Perhaps if I faced the pain and went back home,Mother would know how to help me. 

I decided to go stay at my old house for a few days and let my troubles go. I packed up my things and left Ami and Kaz a note that read:

_**Dear Ami and Kaz,**_

_**I'm going to spend a few nights at my old house to see if my mother can help me with my problems.**_

_**Don't worry.**_

_**--Yumi**_

_**P.S. Please take good care of my little Koja.**_

And with that I left.

For the first time in what felt like centuries,I crossed that old tree-lined road. I was quite surpised that I could still find my way around. The round lanterns were still there,the buildngs,just about everything there was as I left it.

I stood on the street corner,the starry night illuminated by the lanterns behind me,when I heard someone say, ''Yumi Yoshimura...from Puffy Amiyumi...?''

I turned around. A little high school girl in her unifrom,like the one I once had,was there. What was she doing out here so late at night?

''Is it really you?'' She asked.

''Yes,it's me.'' I said.

''Oh,wow! Will you sign my satchel?'' She said,handing me the satchel and a pen.

I signed it for her,then gave it back. ''Oh,wait until my friends see **this**! I think it's so cool that you and I were both born here.''

''I do too.'' I said. I couldn't really think of anything else to say but that.

''Arigato!'' She said,then left.

It wasn't long before I reached my house. I went up and gently knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again,a bit louder. Still nothing. ''Mother,'' I said,knocking once more. This time it worked. Mother answered the door.

My absence was written on her face. She looked older and more depressed than when I had last seen her. It seemed she needed some help as well.

''Yumi-chan?'' She said. ''You're...b-ba...'' She stopped,then hugged me,sobbing. A perfect sort of reunion. 

* * *

A/N: OH. MY. GOSH. This took me soooo long to finish. Ah,well,it's worth it I guess. 

So,how did you like the flashback? I told you there would be one...there you go!

Until the next chapter,please review and do make haste,flame me and my wrath,you will taste!

-------------------------------Shaddie-chan------------------------------------------------------


	15. Catching Up

I went upstairs to my room,unpacked my things (the few things I had brought with me anyway),and got into bed. I didn't fall asleep right away,I stayed awake just a bit longer,listening to the sounds of the night outside,and perhaps those inside as well. But really,why would such things be of concern to me? Well,my friend,your guess is as good as mine. Anyways,that's what I did for another five minutes or so,and then the next thing I knew I was asleep.

I must have been really tired because when I woke up the clock on my wall said that it was noon already. I put on my usual clothes,and headed downstairs. Just as I thought,Mother was waiting for me.

''It's about time,Yumi-chan,'' She said. She had apparently gotten tired of waiting for me. ''Now,shall we?''

* * *

A few minutes later the two of us were seated at the table with two bowls of mushroom soup and two bowls of rice. We said nothing for the first few minutes or so,then Mother asked me, ''So,tell me how this 'Puffy Amiyumi' business is working out for you.'' 

''Well,'' I began, ''It's not too bad...if Kaz wasn't the way he was it would be perfect.''

''Who is Kaz?'' Mother asked.

''He was the one who held the talent search. You know,he was mentioned in the ad.''

''Oh,yes,I remember now.''

''Well he became our manager.''

Mother took another spoonful of soup. ''And what's so bad about him?''

''He's greedy,he's cheap,he's a big lazy glutton...sometimes I can't stand him.''

''Oh,he can't be all **that** bad,'' Mother said.

''Well,_you_ don't have to work for him.'' I said,taking another bite of rice.

Mother thought this over. ''Yamakawa-san was most greedy,I recall.''

I laughed a bit. ''Well,then,he and Kaz should get together sometime.''

The two of us stopped talking for a bit,then Mother said, ''I've been reading all those celebrity magizines lately,trying to keep up with you and that Onuki girl.''

''Just call her Ami,'' I said.

''Anyway,I heard that the Onu--er,Ami,has a daughter. Is that true?''

''Yes,it is.'' I said.

''Also I have heard rumors that you have a son. Those can't be true,seeing that you and that Yukio fellow have been divorced for so long.''

''They're true,'' I said with pride.

Mother seemed rather stunned for a moment. ''That...that..that is wonderful! What is his name?''

''Koja.'' I told her.

''Where is he now?''

''Back with Ami,Kaz,and Donjo in our tour bus.''

''Who is Donjo?''

''Ami's husband.''

''Oh,yes,I think I remember reading about him.''

Another few minutes of silence,then Mother said, ''Buyo passed through here not long ago. He came to visit me,and we talked lot about you.''

Buyo.

I had nearly forgtten about what I had done to him. And now,I had been reminded again.

''Something wrong,Yumi?''

I sighed. ''Buyo and I got into a bad fight yesterday.''

''Oh...'' Mother said nothing else for the rest of our time at the table.

* * *

About half an hour later I was standing outside in front of my rickety house once more. I hadn't gotten a chance to get a good look at it from the outside in so long,and I was surprised at how worn-down it had been since my departure. The top of the chimmey had been blown off by last year's typhoon,one of the windows was broken,and the yard was a mess of weeds. 

I got to work pulling out a good deal of those weeds,then decided I would go take a walk around the neighborhood for a while. I really had nothing else to do.

But before I could go,it occured to me that if I had already tidied up the garden,it would make sense to fix up the rest of the house as well.

First I went back inside,got the ladder and some tools,and got to work on fixing the chimmney. I'm pleased to say it didn't take as long as I thought. The broken window,on the other had,presented a problem before I had even started working on it. Now,I knew how to _break_ windows (with my voice),but not how to fix them. I decided that the best thing to do was to leave it alone. It was only a small crack,anyways.

Having done all I could for the moment,I went back inside for some well-earned relaxation before checking out the neighborhood.

* * *

A/N: And there you have it. I really don't have much to say about this chappie,other than please review;flamers will be shot. (Constructive criticism and ideas are encoraged,however.) 

_**----Shaddie-chan**_


	16. Familar Faces

Now,I was understandbly a bit uncomfortable with heading out back to my old neighborhood again,and if you don't know why you haven't been paying attention...shame on you. But peaceful familiarty settled my doubts completely,as it would yours if you had any.

It really was a pleasant place. I was surprised by how much had stayed intact: an old sushi shop that had been around as long as I could remember;the old dance hall where that old Summer Festival had taken place;even those little vending carts were as I left them.

But some changes _had_ come,however;for instance,in one of the easternmost corners of the place,there was an old shed where,during a game of Truth or Dare,I had climbed on top of its roof but soon fell and broke my left arm in two places. Now in the shed's place was a Pink Palace...and anyone who knows me well knows I go crazy for their cheeseburgers...just ask Ami and Kaz.

Anyway, as I was standing on the street corner and surveying this out-of-the-way corner of Osaka I once called home,a voice from somewhere behind me called out: ''Little Yoshimura! Is that you?''

I turned around. It was one of the octopus dumpling vendors who always sold his goods near the old shrine. Whenever Mother and I would visit the shrine,this fellow (who I eventually learned,was named Gurepu) would always be heckling someone into buying his stuff. Mother and I bought octopus dumplings from him so often we were almost friends of sorts,and he soon began calling the two of us ''Big Yoshimura'' and ''Little Yoshimura,'' and it's easy to guess who was who. I got so annoyed with him that I hated when anyone called me by my last name,and I still hate it to this day.

''Hmmm you're part of that whole Puffy thing these days aren't you?'' Gurepu said once he finally realized who I was.

''Yes,I am,'' I told him.

He looked me over. ''Not so little now,are you?''

''Obviously!'' I said with a laugh.

''I listen to your music often,'' Gurepu said, ''but until now I didn't know if it was really you or not.''

''Well...heh,you sure as heck know now!'' I said exultingly,nudging him with my elbow.

''Well,then,'' He went on, ''since we've known each other for so long,how's about a free gift?'' He handed me an octopus dumpling. ''Take it,Little...erm...Not-So-Little Yoshimura...it's free!''

''Uhm...arigato,'' I said,taking it from his hand.

''No problem,'' He said with a grin.

''Well,I have to be going now...it was nice to see another familar face around here.'' I said,then walked off.

''Sayonara,Little Yoshimura!''

I stopped dead in my tracks. ''What was that?'' I asked angrily.

''Nothing!''

* * *

As I walked on,I stopped in front of one of the old resturants. Its lighted sign above the door was cracked and had a hole or two,and I doubted that it worked at all. 

But either way,the octopus dumpling Gurepu had given me wasn't very filling,so I decided I'd give this place a try. Actually,that's not quite the right word: I had been here several times before.

That old place,like all the ones I used to love going to,was warm and quiet and smelled of good things like noodles and green tea and sushi (which I craved),and it was overall quite relaxing. As I sat down,I realized that I wanted this sort of serene feeling more than anything else...except,perhaps,a big plate of sushi and maybe a bit of rice too.

That's what I told the waitress after she gave me a warm towel to wipe my hands with,but before she could do anything else: ''Yumi Yoshimura...?''

''Yes,it's me,'' I explained.

For a moment she seemed rather surprised. ''Well,well,well,you're all grown up...and famous,too!''

Here,it seemed,I was two people: innocent ''Little Yoshimura'' and...well,who I am nowadays. An odd feeling,isn't it?

''I remember when you and your mother used to come here on the weekends,'' She said.

''I remember as well,'' I said with a smile.

''Well...oh,my,I forgot what I wanted to say...oh,well,maybe when I come back I'll remember what it was.'' And with that she left.

She soon returned with my sushi,rice,and green tea,and as she sat those things down at the table I asked, ''Do you remember what you were going to tell me?''

''Oh,yes,what was it...oh! I wanted to say that you are a great singer.''

''You really think so?'' I asked eargerly.

''Yes,I do. And you look wonderful,too...you're as lovely as your mother.''

''Really?''

''Really. It astounds me,really...I remember when you and your mother used to come here when you were in Kindergarten,and...I can hardly beleive you're the same person...you were such a scraggly little thing then.''

I dropped my chopsticks upon hearing her last sentence.

''Well,enjoy!'' She said,then walked off again. Good riddance.

I don't like to be reminded of Kindergarten. I had such a rough time of it then. My first day there I was as nervous as a cat (no offense,Jang Keng) and couldn't focus on anything. But my fright soon passed,and it wasn't long before I was known as the best runner in class. Every race we had at school,I would always finish first place with the best time. Whenever Mr. Takamoto blew his whistle,I was off like a shot almost instinctively. I couldn't help it;I guess I was born that way. Anyway,in spite of my success I was despised a good deal.

Have I mentioned The Demon Boys before? Well,they drove me away whenever they saw me,and usually said something rather rude to me too. Without Seicha I wouldn't have made it through at all,but after I met her she protected me whenever and however she could,and I admired her for her bravery. When she wasn't there I usually just wandered the school alone and in a rather dismal frame of mind.

I think I mentioned Jimu before. If you don't remember,he was a most adorable little boy whom Seicha and I were good friends with. He also had been tormented by The Demon Boys,thus I felt great sympathy for him.

But there was another reason for our friendship. Whenever I saw Jimu,a wave of absolute tingling and longing flowed through me,and if he was near I immediately ran to him as if I were a dog following his master. If you've figured it out already,yes,I had my first crush when I was only four.

But there came many a time when Jimu was out of sight before I could reach him,and often in those situations I'd run into The Demon Boys,who pulled my hair and threw rocks at me and shamefully chased me away.

No,that was not a happy time. And now that imbecile of a waitress blithely mentioned it. In my absolute anger I furiously crammed the sushi and rice into my mouth,and washed it down with a huge gulp of tea. Having decided I simply could not stand this any longer,I left the resturant.

* * *

I stood near the now-lighted streetlamp,rather depressed and angry. Being back here didn't help anything. I still burned within the way I had for the past several days in Osaka. 

I still had one last option,though: I could talk to Mother about it,as I had been planning to do so.

But before I could go something on the other side of the street caught my eye. A man about my age was wandering about in the same sort of mood as I was.

I stood there as though chained to the spot. It was** Jimu**.

I was surprised my how different he was nowadays. Gone,presumably forever,was the charming boy I used to know and in his place was someone no different than any of the other men wandering the streets. He looked like his father now.

I wanted to run to him,but something in me made me stay put. As he stood there in such a dreary mood,somehow he noticed me.

For a long while the two of us stood stock-still in anstonishment. I was afraid to even blink,I was so shocked. Then Jimu turned and walked away as if nothing had happened.

I stood there watching him go. Once he was out of sight,I suddenly wanted so badly to run to him and talk about our youth and all the things that had happened to us. But it was too late now.

Rather down in the mouth,I continued my walk home.

* * *

A/N: Boy my chappies can be sooo long sometimes...but I like 'em like that. 

Well,unless my plans change,the next chapter will be the last. Geez,I've been working on this story since **March**. I guess stories like this take a long time. Plus,I lost intrest in this one until recently,and stuff like that can really do harm when it comes to progress.

Well,I guess I should stop ranting for now. Until next time,review me;flamers will be shot...twice. (And if anyone has any ideas on what Mama Yumi should say about Yumi's problems,don't hesitate to tell me...I've been getting rather stuck there.)

_**---Shaddie-chan**_


End file.
